lost in the mist.finding myself

back.

2008-06-02T00:12:00.003+08:00

disappointed.
disappointment. this is what i feel.
and if you think its about my results.
its not. not entirely.
yes, i could have done better. but. i think given that i crammed everything in one week, and had urops stuff up till the friday before reading week, its amazing that i didnt fail anything. praise the Lord!
but still. yes. its you again. since jc days. since j2. since u got a bf. its been like that. nothing you say can be trusted. promises. are like. nothing. broken. shattered. i. am. tired.

dont say you'll call when you wont.
dont say you'll call back when our conversation gets interrupted when you dont.
dont sms me if you dont plan on replying.
dont make plans when they dont materialise.
dont say you miss me unless you really do.
dont. dont. dont. i dont believe it anymore.
if you think such things only apply to bfs/gfs (for guys), think again. it applies to friends too. to siblings. to parent-child relationships. to all basic humantohuman relationships.
you dont live just for BGRs.
and i am so tired.

emptiness.
this feeling of a vacumm right in the centre of me.
maybe this is why all i do is watch dramas.
taiwanese. japanese. korean. even korean! korean soaps. this is the ultimate. there is something wrong with me. 80episodes. and i watched it all. and cried. and cried and cried. never before. and wished. that i had a bf. someone to walk me home. drive me around at night, to nowhere. walk down the street hand-in-hand with. lean against. sit by the beach with. watch the sunset. then the sunrise. smell the morning air. go to the park by my house with. to the playground. on the swings. at night. ............... dont want to go on anymore.
im tired.

but thank you suyi. for spending my holidays with me. i know that ure a veryvery busy person (hahaha), but really thank you that even though u still have other pple to meet, u still go out with me, almost at least once a week. to do crazy things with. to go window shopping with. really. thank you. and theres still so much more to do, so leave some days free for me k? *winks*

deph. when will we meet up? how have you been? i really do miss you. i really miss those jc days. i miss having lessons with you and going for lecture with you and stoning with you (at the bleachers!) and running off to town after a normal school day even though we have tutorials to do. where have those days gone? where do they seem so distant... even though we study at the same uni, are prolly at the same area almost 5 days of the week, i feel as though... its as good as if one of us is overseas. in fact, wld we be closer that way? i dont know.

gpsm. take care ok? im sorry i bombarded you with those ramblings... it was rather late at night, so dont blame me. i guess u'd be tired of me and all my pessimism. im sorry i cant make u laugh or smile as much as we used to back in those good 'ol days at mg. i guess im just becoming old. old old yin teng. ~ anw, take care in the states k? u lucky gal. what wld i give to be there with you...

time to change...my blogskin, amongst others.

2008-01-18T02:10:00.000+08:00

still awake.

having dinner with suyi tmw.

met up with janice yst. had thai express, and then went to essential brews. nice atmosphere, not so nice drinks. bleh.

was supposed to go to the gym w simin tmw (or shd i say today). get well soon girl!!

tetanus jab with michelle tmw. shivers... our sisters are in the same class. HOW COOL IS THAT???

bodyache from standing all day in the lab for close to 2weeks.

was so surprised when i saw suyi earlier this week on mon. :D and even more pleasantly surprised when i received her postcard from aust yst. awwww... but she spelt my name wrongly. tsktsk. so much for 4yrs plus of friendship. hahaha...

met serena on the way to school one of the mornings this week. that chatterbox! but it was nice. :)

met hon last week on a really lastlastlast minute notice. lab ended early, i gave her a call, and that was it. i miss u so much hon... and i miss having lessons with u.

my mood.is.like a.friggin.rollercoaster. up,down,DOWN,up.

-nites-

a long time coming....

2007-10-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

its been a long time~

friday was nice. met up with simin and suyi... went town for a gals' night out... did silly things and laughed alot.. i'll prolly blog about it another time... all in all, it was nice. :))

tmw's the start of the o'levels. jia you chui!! and all ur friends. :)

sch is. sian.

sighs.

<3 盟主/灸舞.亞綸.

2007-08-29T15:54:00.000+08:00

recently ive been feeling like such a burden to everyone. its like nobody wants me, but cos theyre too nice, so they make time for me.

sometimes i know that the people who love me, ie my sister, doesnt mean to make me feel left out. and its her freedom to go out with her friends. besides, she is at that age now, where friends become more and more important in her life. its just that... i dont know.. maybe its cos im too attached to her, or maybe its cos she's the best friend i have, that i sometimes feel she doesnt have time for me anymore. that being in terms of going out with me, cos we hardly ever get the chance to go out, what with my mum always wanting to be around and all. its just... im alright with her being with her friends, in fact, at her age, i would worry if she didnt have friends to go out with.. its just that the hurt and disappointment that i feel (which is just a tiny portion, really) becomes amplified whenever i talk to her and she can feel it and that makes her sad, which makes me sad, but i cant help it and i cant stop it, cos i dont want to mask the truth and i dont want to pretend that im really 100% ok when there ist 1% of me that's not. and the worst thing is, i dont think that anyone understands.

maybe its time for me to get a boyfriend. but given my character and looks, i dont think that will ever be possible.

maybe i should consider becoming a nun...

i know i should give all these unhappy feelings to God, and i want to, but part of me is just... i dunno... turning away... Lord, please help me.

my head feels like its about to explode. i wish i could crawl out if my skin, be someone im not, go somewhere i havent been to, and live in someplace else.

now i know what they mean by "anywhere but here".

who really understands me? nobody. not even myself.

2007-08-15T17:35:00.000+08:00

i saw a short segment of a programme on tv today. they were interviewing this girl who was working at the singapore zoo. she studied in a university in NZ, but chose to come to our zoo cos she felt that we had a greater variety of animals than most other zoos. her being able to spend time with the animals that she loves and having a job that allows her ample opportunities to do that makes me a little jealous of her. she looks so happy and confident, cos she has already found her aim and direction in life. that makes me wonder... what about me? have i? what if what i really want to do has nothing to do with being a pharmacist? what if after 4 years of studying what i'm studying, i realise that what really interests me has nothing to do with the stuff that ive learnt? wouldnt i have wasted 4 years then? during the past yr or so, countless of lecturers/guest lecturers have mentioned that a large proportion of the pple who graduated with the pharm degree have jobs that have nth do to with pharmacy. sometimes i do feel rather excited about being a pharmacist, about having knowledge about medicine that most other professions dont. but at other times, i feel nothing for it. its just a feeling that comes as quickly as it goes. its been almost 20 years, and im still as clueless as when i just started. i guess i just have to leave it in God's hands and pray that he will help me find the way...

there's a funeral near my house. its really strange, cos if i really think of it, i have not come across any funerals in the estate for ever since i can remember. its weird being able to hear the distant echoes of the chanting of the monks and clanging of the whatever instruments they use. it makes me wonder, when i really do die, if my friends will cry for me.

there are 3 different types of sentences: simple, compound and complex.
is that supposed to be common knowledge? cos i never knew till yst.

2007-08-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

i'm thirsty.

i'm tired.

i'm sleepy.

and today's only the first day of school.

lect was from 8-10am. dont ask me how it was. it was a waste of time, to say the least. the lecturer came in 20mins late. and spent another 10 trying to find his workbin on ivle. then he used the rest of the time to go thru a programme that we wld we using for stats lab. and he defined terms such as nominal and ordinal and the different scales. i thot his drawing of a mouse was a venn diagram of different sized circles until i saw the label "dose injected".

sighs.

after that i went home. turned on the video recorder and watched taped programmes that i wanted to catch a few weeks back.

i watched angel lover & the episodes of yu le bai fen bai with the cast from huan huan ai and the special on nan quan mama. now im hooked onto nan quan mama's songs. i love lara's voice and zhang jie is rather cute.

sch. tmw. starts at 8 and ends at 4, no 6 if the lect for sp1203 is still on. with 4 hrs of nothing in btw. sighs.

i just read on the forums that ya lun quit sch cos he cldnt handle having to juggle acting, singing and studying. i wish i cld quit sch too; if i were given a chance like him to shine, why wldnt i?

want to watch zhong ji yi jia~

2007-08-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

im just so so so tired.
i feel like breaking down and crying. the emptiness in my chest is threatening to overwhelm me. i hate bidding for modules. i hate that i have to use so many points to get one module when i still need the points from that account for the next two years of my life. it sucks. and i hate that if i dont do so, then i wont be able to take any module with my gpsm and that sucks even more.
i hate it that this has to happen right now; that it caused me to yell very loudly for my parents to wait for me cos they came into my room the exact moment i was having a mental breakdown and burst into song, see, its my sister's birthday tmw, or technically, today, since its after 12 midnight already. i hate that i have to be the wet blanket, but it just feels weird, you know, when the euphoria around me is rising and its pushing me down, down, down... it sorta feels like im drowning, and i cant get out, not with the burden of worries weighing me down..
and then when i finally regain my composure and finish the birthday song, this friend of mine comes to me and starts telling me of the wonderful day she's had. and this is by no fault of her own, no, of course not; because i know she regards me as a good friend, which is by she so happily started talking about her day, which is indeed quite exciting, its something ive always wanted to do too, just that ive not been able to find the right people to do it with. anyway, it just got me all upset again, cos it felt like i was being left behind in everybody's busy life (again.), and this has always been a problem with me, so i guess i was just very short with her and i was just being very unreceptive and all... but bless my friend, this friend of mine, cos she must have picked up on it and she tried to assure me by telling me we would really have to talk on the phone soon, like sometime this week, so she could fill me in on everything! and that i must admit is a really good suggestion, but i must still have been quite emotionally unbalanced at that time so i did all i could to push her away, just in case i said something really bad in my fit of anger and madness.. but then she said something that meant, no, i mean, means the world to me. and i just really want to thank her for that. i love u gal... :)

so now all i can do is leave everything in God's hands... hopefully i can find a suitable module for jan and i to take.. and hopefully the bid pts wont be too high... and just for everything. amen.

so now i'm just going to pop back into fantasy world, into the pages of the harry potter and the deathly hallows. man, what would i give to be hermione, to have her brains... and ron... and friends in such high places... haha... oh! know what, if u wanna kill voldermort, why dont u just enroll him into nus and ask him to bid for his modules. yeah.

i really miss you
and i mean it..

and that means EVERYTHING to me.

that sad sad hollow

2007-07-09T13:04:00.000+08:00

the sad hollow deep in the centre of your chest is what tells you that you've been hurt or that you're hurting. and these past few days, this sad hollow deep in the centre of my chest has been, sadly, overly active.

i am: doing up my melbourne vacation pics
i will: go down for a jog with my sis when she comes home from school later.
i must: play tennis sometime this week.
return my long overdue library books.
go to kino and see if july's magazines have arrived.
watch ootp. (ie order of the phoenix)
i hope to: meet up with suyi on friday.
meet up with delphine when she's free.
play more bishibashi!! (aft union camp eh, gpsm?? *winks*)
meet up with hon! (hon, go join facebook!! then i can give u the "my honey" kudos which i've wanted to do so ever since i saw it..... haha..)
meet up with my beloved mg gals, though i have NO IDEA when she was part of us, but that's how life goes, i suppose.

i am addicted to facebook! help!!!!

2007-06-25T13:23:00.000+08:00

4.一个人流浪 (校园偶像剧-终极一班插曲)
作词：马嵩惟　作曲：陈信安　编曲：陈信安　

没人了解　才选择隔绝这世界　
有点疲倦　已决裂的信念　
白色球鞋　走不回喧闹的海边　
月光营火　照亮许多笑脸　
疯狂画面停留在眼前　默契却渐行渐远　
我们约好闯荡的那片天　我一个人向前

我流浪在拥挤的从前　复习一页页黑白的空荡夏天　
呆坐在热闹的路边　啤酒没变甜　
却少了傻得很认真的心愿　

我流浪在孤单的边缘　怀念挥霍着笑声的耀眼蓝天　
听着那熟悉的音乐　只剩下琴弦　
希望让时间回到误解那天
能有机会说声抱歉

2007-06-11T12:31:00.000+08:00

melbourne & sydney here i come!!!

haha... i'm leaving for aust today... will be back in the 19th. so exciting! i cant wait!! i hope i wont be too tired though...

anw, to all those who will miss me, DON'T!! cos i will be back before you know it... and to all those who won't, shame on you!! haha...

toodles!!

2007-06-03T21:56:00.000+08:00

just read deph's blog (backtracked quite a bit cos its been quite long since the last time i read) and it seems as if some stuff's happened, though i dont know what, and though i know that if i just open my mouth to ask her she'll probably tell me but... i dunno. plus we havent met in so long. this is who i am i suppose. not worthy to have good friends cos i dont know how to be a good friend myself. but its never been about me; i really do hope she'll be ok soon. :)

i visited the botanic gardens with my family today. and by family i mean the entire family, including my aunties and cousins and all. ahaha.. it was an interesting experience. my cuz came over during brunch to ask abt uni admissions. he received offers from all three unis, but since he wanted biz i told him that he shd seriously consider smu. cos i dont think that nus's biz is very outstanding, but im not really sure lah, considering that im not a biz student myself. anw, his deadline is today, so i hope he's made a wise decision that he wont regret ever. :)

i just found out from serena that she, mel, yuen, simin & adeline met up on sat. sighs. i miss the mg gals (or at least most of them)... i miss meeting up w them and i miss the mad chattering between mel and serena.. haha.. act i sorta knew about sat's meeting, just that i wasnt again when it was confirmed. not that i would have gone anyway... cos i would have died if i had to face that somebody alone, without my gpsm to protect me. where are you gpsm? i miss u now more than ever. do u miss me too?? *whines* haha. oh. i got it wrong. apparently they met two fridays ago. well that's nice. where was i two fridays ago? hmmm.... gpsm, where was i? oh. now its supposed to be some class thing? aiyah. whatever lah. haha.

i just watched yu le bai fen bai on youtube and they were introducing wu xiong, the lead actress from 热情仲夏 aka summerXsummer, the taiwan drama im watching now, and i found out that the actress playing her elder sis in 終極一班 is really her elder sister! how cool is that?? if i ever had the chance to act.. and if i could act with my sister.. and if we played onscreen sisters... it wouldnt even be acting at all! hahaha.. i'll be so natural at it, i'll probably win some best actress award or something... hahahahaha... anw, stupid channel U didnt show that episode of yu le so i didnt get to see my beloved 亚纶 on TV. hrump.

anw, i think im gg to slp now, cos i seem to be falling ill... my throat feels exceptionally dry... and i have sudden bouts of running nose... hmm... ohhh!!! i just remembered i forgot to blog about a really crazy thing i did! ah wellssss, that's another story for another time....

its been one long post, and an even longer night

2007-05-22T01:38:00.000+08:00

oh craps!! i think i forgot to reply ben abt the spiderman3 movie... oopsss.. sorry ben!! have u and nicholas caught it yet?? -paiseh-

i just got myself a new phone!! -beams- its a LG mobile. i hope LG phones are alright. i didnt really expect to get it.. i mean, ive always wanted a motorola phone.. the razerVxxx (i think) kind.. hmmm... haha.. anw, i went to the comm centre with my family the other day cos there was smth wrong w my house phoneline (and my mum insisted on dragging my sis & i along... otherwise we cld have been watching 终极一班!! but anw...) and my sis and i were so ultra bored (we had to wait for like an hour) so we were walking ard, prodding at all the phones when i saw IT. haha.. anw, its supposed to be their chocolate series and it has a touchpad thingy for part of their keypad so i dont need to waste too much energy pressing on the keypads. hahaha... im still getting used to my phone but i'm loving it... tada!!:

recently there have been alot of things on my mind, and alot of things that i wanted to post here, things ive been thinking abt, things mainly to do with how i feel and how ive been... but somehow, whenever i try to type these things down, the words get stuck at the tip of my fingers and refuse to appear on the screen.. and whatever little that ive managed to get out, just sounds like a jumble of ramblings which go around and around in circles and they are never really enough to convey what's in my heart. somehow these ramblings just become saved draft pieces and will probably never see the light of day. i guess i just have to live with it, and to carry on with my life with all the hurt buried deep in my heart. cos i dont have the guts to say it out and i fear what i feel may sometimes hurt my friends and the friendship i have with them. maybe its because the friendship is what's been experiencing the problem. maybe its the fragile trust that makes the friendship the very thing thats being threatened. and maybe the problem lies not so much with them but with me. i guess thats the problem, that i tend to run away from too many things in my life. from people and from things that hurt me, to the extent that running away comes as second nature and in the process of preventing myself from feeling hurt, ive built a wall around myself and my heart and have learnt how to pretend that i dont feel anything when my heart's still bleeding away; to the extent that the wall's become ice and my blood has frozen and its so cold, so cold......

i havent talked to anyone on the phone for so long... i havent had late night conversations for so long... i've stayed up till 4am but its not been because i was on the phone, something that i used to do once upon a time.. ive broken the hearts of people who cared about me enough to want to talk to me, because a friend broke my heart that way.

its weird how the darkness of night brings out who we truly are and how we can sometimes manage to bring out things that we've kept in for so long, in the blanket of the darkness that the late night gives us.

its weird how in an attempt to change myself so that i wouldnt hurt others so much, ive forgotten who i truly am. whilst ive gained from it; ive become more cheerful, as anyone who knew me back then, and have read my blog entries from a few years back can testify, ive forgotten how its like to have the freedom to post whatever i wanted to, to the extent that i screen myself and what i have to say, which is probably why those ramblings never made it. well, all i can say is that in the velvety seduction of the night, one escaped, so brace yourself for it!

in the meantime, i drove on the expressway today! haha... i took the PIE, filtered out to AYE, went to orchard area via the tunnel and transversed newton circle before heading back to bbdc via the BKE and KJE. haha... all i can say its that its rather fun! though it takes some getting used to, especially lane changing. and singaporean drivers! all i can say is that (quote-unquote my mother in cantonese) 'they gon ji hui tou toi' ie they're in a rush to get reincarnated.

oh crappydo... i needa pee... but there's a lizard in the toilet... *screams in fright* who will save me???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there once was a girl who had the honour of having a bunch of people whom she could regard as her good friends. though she could count with her fingers how many there were, she treasured these few with all her heart.

one didnt live on the same island as her, so they kept in contact via msn... and that was more than enough, and that kept their friendship going till now, though its not to say that this friendship didnt experience its ups and downs. why, there was this period that they didnt keep in contact at all, for about one year when they went to different schools to continue their education. but a phone call salvaged it all and they're as good as good can get.

there was another she held close to her heart for she could tell this one anything, anything at all, and not feel too stupid or dumb. she could act cute and whine to this friend and didnt have to hide anything. nope, not anything except her innermost thoughts about their friendship, especially when there were cracks starting to appear and they should have thrashed things out, but they didnt. see, what happened was that they grew up, or should i say, they were growing up. and they were experiencing alot of new things. first it was friendship itself. how wonderous it was. they would message each other almost every other ten minutes. even in school, for they werent in the same class. they would meet and go to school together, and they would meet and go home together. they would tell each other the nittiest and grittiest of all details, like what they had for dinner, or when their mums were nagging at them to study and not touch their phones so much. but then it happened. love. or at least love happened to one, and not the other. and the smses decreased in number. from almost 20 a day to 10, 8, till it became close to 5, yeah, 5...per week. the phone calls decreased in number, and in duration. this girl understood what was happening and she also understood that this friend of hers needed her space. and she was willing to give it to her and she was happy for them. but what saddened her was that it compromised her friendship. and that it always seemed to her that this friend only had enough energy to reply her messages, and she rarely initiated an sms on her own. hiding in her hurt and trying to be strong, she hardened her heart and underwent the typical stages of grief: sadness, hurt, anger... and finally, indifference. for to her, that's the only thing that could stop her heart from aching. for to her, friendship came above everythingelse, even romantic relationships, for those may not last, but friendship was supposed to. it was supposed to.

then there was another friend, who was so special in her own way, her cute, blur and slightly repetitive way. why repetitive? cos this one liked to repeat her stories and insights on life. this one's life was filled with many interesting ways and she always had many interesting thoughts and things that she wanted to do, like sit by the river and eat mee siam. this one sustained her during her period of grief and made her days more cheery and happy. this one had great rapport with her and it seemed as if they had telepathy, for whenever she wondered to herself when this friend would call her (for talking on the phone every night became almost a ritual to them, and sometimes they could last for 5hours or more), the phone would ring in less than 10minutes. and this ritual became routine to her, so much so that when this one didnt call, she would feel as if there was something she forgot to do in her otherwise mundane life. the only thing was that, this became so habitual to her, having this special one do the calling almost every night, that she didnt realise that this one who was so dear to her heart started to have doubts about her place in her heart. and this horrible seed of doubt planted itself in this one's heart at the worst of all timings, during the transition state to even higher education, when there was one less common medium through which they could meet up, for school had ended and people around them were starting to experience a tase of working life. separated by time and space, she became tired of trying to keep up with these special ones and buried herself in a world of tv, books and the internet, for they at least didnt make her feel as if the world was leaving her behind. and she was once again doing what she did best, and that was to run away. this special one started to resent her and even started to dislike her, driven by the very same anger and hurt that she herself had experienced before. if only she was smart enought to realise it. all things came to light however, as, thank heavens, this one was not as nonconfrontational as her and they finally thrashed things out when this one gave their friendship one last go and called her for what was supposed to be the last time. now this one and her are still close friends, though admittedly, not as close as before, for wounds take time to heal and some things just cant be returned to. she misses the long conversations with this one and hopes that this special one will have a good time at work.

and finally, theres one more, this one she never expected to be close friends with. but this one somehow saw something in her that even she herself could not see, and made attempts to get to know her better, and she's been very grateful for that, even till this day. this one made her two years better and helped her to gain the confidence she needed to hold her head up when she walked, for she wasnt a very confident person before that. this one showed her insight to the real world and made her a stronger person who dared to have her own thoughts about issues she didnt want to think about before. though she knows that this one hasnt changed much, from since the last time she saw her, she regrets that they havent had the chance to spend much time with each other in the past year for they were now pursuing different things in totally different disciplines. she regrets that because of this, they seem to have drifted apart, though she knows that there will always be ropes linking their rafts together, no matter how far they are. all they have to do is to pull on them. even so, she cant help but feel a little disappointed, mostly with herself, for not knowing what's been going on in this one's life, though from the sight of it, it seems that some major things have happened; and she feels sad that she has not been able to be there for this one, in her times of happiness and sadness.

as anyone can see, this girl is still reeling from her pain and is still running away. but she's trying not to do so anymore. though its hard, for old habits die hard, she's making fresh attempts at keeping in contact. for one, she's starting to read blogs again, for it was something she steered clear of doing, to run from the mixture of pain and happiness when she reads them; happiness at their new life and pain for not being a soild part of it anymore. perhaps someday soon she will pick up the phone again, when she's ready, for she has grown to love her alone time and it wont be easy for her to pluck herself out of it and give that time back to those who deserve it.

and should anyone wonder what caused her to want to try again, here's her reason: its because of her current favourite person, actor/singer and member of fahrenheit, arron 炎亞綸. yes she's not afraid to admit it. and she's been reading his blog recently and she came across a heart wrenching entry, in which he lost his best friend to a car accident, this entry being as recent as the 17th of may. and with his simple phrasing and beautiful words, abeit in chinese, he brought across his pain and sorrow, and his love for this dear friend of his. and through his pain she found an outlet for her own pain as tears brimmed her eyes. though they never really fell, she understood one simple thing, that she should treasure what she has, before it was too late. perhaps one of the reasons why this struck so close to her heart is that he is not more than twenty one, just as she is not more than twenty; and she was as vulnerable as he was. although she will never understand why God has to let these things happen to him, for this iss not the first time, he lost his girlfriend in a car accident a few years back too; she hopes that he will find strength from his sorrow and face life with a greater zest, as she has from his and her own pain.

with this she hopes to embark on a new beginning and to learn to open her heart again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

passed

2007-05-16T01:16:00.000+08:00

I PASSED MY DRIVING!!!!
~praise the Lord!!

haha... *happy* there were so may thing that could have gone wrong and so many others that did... and yet i managed to pass... when actually, i think my tester could have failed me if i wanted to.. but he decided to be kind, what with it being my third time and all.. anw, theres a really funny story behind it, but tts for another time...

going out w hon tmw! yay! aft sooo long... getting our eyebrows done! -finally.
(edit: turns out we cldnt meet up in the end. msg me soon to so we can arrange for another time k hon? [22may])

went to cdrama to collect my lastest SHE album. whee!! listening to it right now; and loving it lots!! im so glad i preordered mine.. the pictorial booklet tt came w it is priceless!! esp the bunny-ella one. hahaha... maybe i'll upload the pic here someday...

two more days to the end of my sister's exams.. and the start of our madness!!!

who's who?

2007-05-14T23:26:00.001+08:00

yay!! my first post in sooo long! haha... as u can see, ive changed my layout! haha.. ive been wanting to do that for soo long... ever since before i left for the sea sports camp.. anw, now tt its finally done... :) it feels so much more like me now.. dark colours, whimsical words.. i dont know what possesed me to get my previous template.. haha.. maybe its just how i was feeling then.. i spent the whole day in bed yst, cos i came down with fever. the feeling was so horrible, and my back hurt so much that i thought maybe i had kidney failure or smth.. anw, sorry ben for not replying ur msg! i forgot to in my semiconscious state... haha.. ben asked me yst "which guy in sc3 is not very tall, is skinny and has very dark skin?" and the only pple i could think of tt fit the bill were aaron, peter and titus(who obviously isnt the person in question). anw, turns out the person was james, someone i totally forgot existed until i saw ben's reply.. sighs.. this is how much ive lost contact w the life i was so used to back then..
anw, there's smth really wrong w blogger... i cant post stuff up properly.. ughs!! im so pissed w it! its cos of this same problem that i cldnt leave a post to say tt i was gg to the sea sports camp and stuff.. arrrgghhsss... anw, this stupid problem w blogger has spoilt my entire blogging mood.. so i'll update abt the camp and all someday soon. i better go slp now, to rest well for tmw's driving test, which i hope i can pass... which i pray that i can pass... i better pass!! ugh.
i cant wait for fri, when my sis's exams end... then i can continue watching 終極一班! ~亞綸 here i come!!!

my favourites

2007-04-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

my hdd recorder CRASHED on me!!! sobbbsssssss.... all my recorded info is GONE... Nooooo... i guess its my punishment.. but whyyyy why now... it just couldnt wait for me could it. ughhhssss.
no mood to study.

*slaps myself*

i deserve it..

tada... my newest love... haha...

3rd love: 炎亞綸

2nd love: 吳尊

1st love: ella!!

credit: the websites i got these photos from.

gosh. im so cheena-fied.. haha.. who cares... im chinese mans.. i must embrace my roots!

im sending the recorder for repairs tmw.. hopefully they can recover the lost info. *crosses fingers in feverish hope*

i've learnt my lesson.

time to hit the books again.

sleeves & pastas

2007-03-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

MY DREAM SHOES!!!!!

haha... someday i'll be able to get them... but until then, i'll just have to stick w my holey charles&keith slippers... ah wells... but my gpsm's getting her dream shoes! haha... and they'll be delivered to me!! (and i'll secretly kidnap them and she'll never see them again!! haha.. kidding.) i'll let u know the moment they arrive! so exciting!

if you have the chance, go and try pastamania's eggplant pasta. its really really really yummy! haha...

i finally sent my lousy phone for repairs yst, and got it back today... but all the info in it is gone! haha.. cos they did a software upgrade, but no worries, i backed it up alr.. haha... smart me. hahaha... anw, now i got a new background display pic! cos i just transferred it to my phone.. its so nice... hahaha...

time to go for my geog lect... on webcast, my one true love.

what have you been doing behind my sleeve? -- quote-unquote my sister.

go figure.

2007-03-10T01:39:00.000+08:00

i just finished watching the last episode of hanakimi!! LAST EPISODE. SOBS..... i dont want it to end yet!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway, its by far one of the most lame-o endings ive seen in the whole wide world... haha... actually it started off quite ok; the episode i mean, but towards the last 10-15 mins... ermsss... well yah if u've watched it alr you know what i mean, if not go watch it! cos its still a good show on the whole... esp if you like funny stuff (like me!)... i bet there will be a sequel. i mean the way it ended just paves the way for a sequel. or maybe it just seems so cos i want them to have a sequel. there BETTER BE a sequel. or else... *muderous look*

hey gpsm, i'll post the 6 weird things thingy either tmw or sunday k? haha... i couldnt come up with any so i got my sis to help out... i guess one of the weirdest things i found out about myself that day was that my sister knows me much better than i do myself, or at least she can express how im like much better than i will ever be able to... oh and next time there's a visit to the animal shelter you MUST let me know kkkkk?

im going shopping with my mum and sis tmw! whee~ haha... so evil! they're in the holiday mood cos its the march hols... and now im infected! but there are NO march hols for meeee! *unfair* and the worst thing is... i keep thinking that there's no sch on mon! arghs.

終極一班 here i come!!!

2007-03-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

apparently there were aftershocks from an earthquake in sumatra that could be felt in nus today. when i went for my lsm tutorial tts the first thing the he asked us.. "did you all feel the tremor today?" sighs. i didnt!! it supposedly happened at around 145pm... what was i doing then?? walking from med library to S2 with michelle... i think... or still sleeping at the med lib? hmmmmm.....

anw... i just feel so ughh now... its like, i know i have to study, but i dont want to. sometimes i feel like im just living for the sake of being alive, and being alive just for the sake of existing.
sometimes i dont know who i am, or where im going. other times i just dont like myself. sometimes i try to think positively, but sometimes that just gets very tiring. and sometimes i feel like im just running away from God. but why?

once there was a girl who used to be happy. but then she grew up.

sometimes i think that im not only ugly, but i have an ugly heart too.

2007-02-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

i just came back from chinatown! whee... haha... its PACKED with loads of pple, but its ultra fun, so if ure thinking abt popping by, u dont have to think anymore, just go! the atmosphere is really good, haha, cos its so crowded, it feels so festive.. n they're selling such a wide variety of things, from the usual new year goodies to cute winnie-the-pooh angbaos (of which my mum couldnt resist buying) to the typical nus-bazzar-style clothes, earrings and whatnot. haha... oh, and there's this pushcart stall at chinatown point that you simply MUST CHECK OUT if ure in the area.. the old ladyboss is so cute lahs... she sells those shell necklaces (that my sis loves to death) and nice bags (my weakness...)! anw, i say that she's really cute cos she keeps giving us discounts even though we didnt ask for any.. she keeps saying (in chinese) that since we're school going kids, and that its already quite late at night, she'll give us a discount if we really like the item(s) etcetc... then she cut the price of my sis's necklace from $10 to $8 to finally $7, and my blue strawbag from $20.90 to $18 to $16, and when we paid for the two items she charged us $22 instead of $23. gosh... she's just so happy and jovial.. i hope that when i grow old i'll be able to be as happy-go-lucky as her. :)

anw, here's some pictures of chinatown, courtesy of my (lousey) photography skills:

i took this view from the car...

my dad and i

my sis and i!

Ultra PACKED!!!

i simply love this pic that yun took! in fact, i love it so much that ive set it as my desktop background. thanks for the beautiful photos yun!!

-when she found out that he was already attached, she felt... defeated. her breaths came in short gasps; her chest felt tight and uncomfortable. all she wanted to do was to flee from his presence. descending the stairs, away from him, her mind began to clear. she no longer felt crushed. rather, she felt empowered, as if greater things were waiting for her. she was free again, from him, from her mind, from herself, and from a one-sided love. -

2007-02-06T00:39:00.000+08:00

im sick. sorethroat. flu. *cough cough*. sad.

thanks for ur timely diagnosis and medication dearest serena... ure truly my trusty future doctor! :)

i cant find any info on allodynia! gaahs.

i better go and take my sarsparilla flavoured Tussidex Forte(TM) linctus and go and slp.......

2007-02-01T03:10:00.000+08:00

oh maannnssss!!! its so LATE and i'm still awake!! hahaha... im so dead!! i bet i w doze off for physio tmw... and for pharm practice! cos the lect is always so BOring... haha... boring topics lah, cant be helped... better down like a gallon of coffee tmw morning before i go to sch... hoho... michelle! u better keep me awake by poking me or smth! haha.. oops my mum just came in to check on me.. oh! i was late for sch today! haha... i woke up at 8am when my lect was supposed to START at 8. wahaha... ehhs, but its quite good alr lorhs! its my FIRST time oversleeping since the start of my uni life. can break record alr lahs. haha... oops my dad just came in to check on me...

better go!!!

2007-01-27T15:46:00.000+08:00

nice song!!!

going for SHE's concert later. whee... haha so exciting!

2007-01-26T17:54:00.000+08:00

FAHRENHEIT ARE IN SINGAPORE!
jiro, calvin, aaron and wuzun are here.....
WUZUN IS HERE!!!!!!!
omg *faints*

i love my HOT PINK 'naughty monkey' tshirt! but i think its a little too tight. HOW???

2007-01-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

omg. i did the DUMBEST thing ever. i closed the stupid window wout checking my marks so now i dont know how i scored for the colours test. SIAN. have you ever met anyone as DUMB as me??? ok, dont answer that. anw, michelle got 9. smart gal!! i wanna know what i got too. sobs.

there wasnt physio lect today so i managed to sleep in. for a while more anw, cos i still had my pharm lect at 10am. haha. then aft tt michelle and i had to man the ps room so we dapao-ed lunch and ate at the benches along lt20. the tuna sandwich from the drinks stall should be called onion sandwich instead mans! cos when u open the bag to eat it, wahs! the smell that greets you is none other than that of Mr. Onion. wahahaha.. and i met my gpsm while getting my lunch and pei-ed her for a while. aint i so good to you? ;p haha...

did you know that there's such a thing as a chinese library? haha... i bet not right... i just found out about it today also lah. haha. cos jialing and i had to accompany suyi to CDTL for her radio interview thingy... and i met chee kiang there and found out tt he's in radio too, doing production and special effects. haha, so qiao right? and su yi doesnt believe he's from pharm cos when she came back from her interview she was like "do u know him?" and i was like "err.. noooo.. tt's why im talking to him" and she was like "really ah?" hahaha... so hilarious. anw, the area around lt4 and the chi library is not bad! got benches and its rather windy cos its like a linkway so both sides are not walled up. next time can go there and slack. haha... me=slacker+tv addict.

there's always some sort of activity going on at arts! today's was some cultural exhibition thingy i think.. cos student representatives of some asian countries set up stalls and stuff... and there's this huge jigsaw thingy where u can write a msg on a piece and stick it up. haha. so the 3 of us each got a piece and i wrote some tooty thing down... haha.. but it was fun lahs. and my piece is no.1 somemore. haha... cos they will randomly pass u a piece of the jigsaw and the guy was like, search search, then he passed me a piece and said a string of stuff but cos its was very noisy i couldnt make head or tail of it except that it was the first piece of the puzzle. haha. im so privileged rightsss? after tt we went to try the tea at the sri lanka booth cos jialing and i were attracted by the smell. its really fragrant! mango and strawberry are nice! ginger is... well.. an accquired taste. BUT, its worth a try, really.

sometimes i wish the geog lect wasnt so late. 4-6pm is really NOT a good time for lectures. and i have to submit my geog assignment by next tues. SIGHS. i hate doing research on the net. SIANS. i better go bathe and start on it alr.. no more procrastinating (eh, gpsm?).

crashing heavenly maths lect tmw!
if i can find lt32.
haha.
i have faith in myself.....

~oh happy day......

michelle is so cute lahs... she was so excited abt the online test tt she couldnt stop laughing (according to herself anw).. lol...
quote unquote: "haha...ok...once i NUDGE U WE START OK!"
wahahaha.....

2007-01-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

aahhs!!! the mv for zhuan shu tian shi is out!! whee.... haha... i've been waiting for it for soooo long... ella and wuzun are like the CUTEST couple ever. hahahaha.... though i must admit that the storyline in the mv doesnt really make much sense, but then again, who cares? plus the song is ultra nice anw... go watch it!!

ohs, and here's the zhen me ban mv, also from the HanaKimi OST, also starring ella and wuzun... hahaha... they're SUPER pei lahs... hohoho...

2007-01-16T14:37:00.000+08:00

ahahaha.... i just changed my template! finally.... now its not so dark and gloomy anymore.. not that i dont like my previous one; its so artistic dont u think? its just that... im not in that mood anymore.. haha... i bet when my gpsm sees my new template, she'll be like "what the...". haha... cos this template is so NOT me.. its so happy and cheery and light.... haha... sometimes i surprise myself too...

GAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! im the world's stupidest person EVER. i made my gpsm leave her hall, thinking that she wld be meeting me for lunch while i stupidly left school and made my way home... craps.. i shd have checked my phone properly... now i feel so bad... and i left my phone on silent mode so i didnt hear it buzz... sobs.. until like half an hour after she reached sch... i went to check my phone and saw her msg and was in the middle of hyperventilating when my gpsm called.. arghs!! gal, u shd have called earlier!! anw, im really really really sorry... it will never happen again, i promise... she must have been quite angry and quite dissapointed with me even though she didnt voice it... im so sorry gpsm...

tmw's lect starts at 8am!!!! somebody save me!! sighs... i had physio tut discussion today and i was being damn quiet again... sians... i wish somebody would just pry my stupid mouth open... ok fine, i know that somebody has to be me... but i just.. arghs. i dunno. i guess i need pyschiatric treatment. anyone wants to sponsor me?

"memories arent stored in the heart or in the head or even the soul, if you ask me, but in the spaces between any given two people"

-Delia Hopkins

Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult

2006-12-26T15:17:00.000+08:00

hi everyone!!

after such a long period of silence this is what i have to say.....
go watch hua yang shao nian shao nu!! its super nice and SUPER FUNNY!!! haha...
wu zun is my no.1!! *muax* hohoho...

anw, merry xmas!! or should i say, merry boxing day!!

my exam results will be out tmw... shudder... i dread it so much mans... i hope i didnt fail anything... esp not physio. gaah...
but until then, im going to enjoy myself to the fullest!!
eragon here i come! whee~

2006-10-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

i screwed up, i screwed up, i totally screwed up my ppda test 2. i so totally stressed out. must be my punishment for doing so well in the first test. sobs...... must be my punishment for watching too much tv. gaahs. its all princess hour's fault.

my tag board has gone nutty!! sighs. and so has my laptop and mp3 player. arghhh!!!! kill me.

today was hari raya pusa. and all i did was stay at home.. and study!! hahaha. as if. i tried to study and got as far as three-quarters into my first set of renal physio notes and i totally gave up. after visiting my uncle to get some loose change (pounds) from him for my sis, who's gg to uk for her sabattical (sp?) with 39 other sec 3 girls in her level (the lucky twerp!), i went back home and watched more tv! i was watching the first four epi of full house on dvd. gah. i so dont have a life. and i so dont have any friends to drag out... i so want a guy to bring me to look for the bottle tree. that caijing is so lucky.

i dont want to go to sch tmw.

2006-09-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

today's one of the rare days that i actually felt happy in school... not that im highly depressed or anything... and its not that ive never felt happy in sch, of course i have(!), during lunch when im w my gpsm, or suyi or deph, or when i meet up with friends from long ago, like ruili; or on weds when suyi and i are busy getting lost on our way to ss lecture at FASS etc. but today's one of the rare days i felt happy doing my stuff as a pharmacy student. one of the rare days when i felt that my heart was light, so light that i could skip around the whole school wout a care in the world.

my lovely samsoon ended its run on channel u today. sobs!!!! no more tv for me at 10pm. NOOOOO....... no more zhenxian for me.... *weeps*
life has to go on.

i hope i did well for today's PPDA test. i hope i passed it. i hope i did well, but i dont know... pharmers are muggers. and they're so hardworking. whereas me? im a tv addict.

2006-07-29T22:45:00.000+08:00

i just came back from a promenade style mg production; From Eve to Mary-walking with women. it was wonderful. true, some scenes did make me cringe and there were others in which i felt nothing for, but the effort the girls put in (my dear sister included) are commendable. and all in all the effect was that it resulted in the play having standards comparable to AC plays. and that is saying something. i enjoyed in particular the act: Delilah, Jezebel, Herodias and Juicy Host. it was funny yet truly insightful. and also the ingenious idea of separating the audience into two; by coming up with the red apple route and the green apple route (red or green apples were passed to the audience at the entrance), this being particularly significant as the whole play started with Eve and the serpent. having taken the green apple route, i cannot deny that i would have enjoyed myself as much had not it been for the serpent who was also our guide for the entire walk.

the moment that has been etched deep in my heart however, is none of the above, but the scene in which Jesus was made to bear the cross and made to walk to calvary with the roman soldiers flogging him repeatedly and the crowd crying widly. the cries of the women and the loud cracks that echoed as the whip made contact engulfed me and entered my heart. the pain of the crowd became mine, plusing as one, until it came to the point that i was close to tears. it was as if i was there itself on that fateful day. just as the sensation flooded me suddenly, it left as quickly, gone before i could fully grasp it; but not before it made a lasting impact on my heart.

give thanks for the Lord our God gave His only Son, so that he could pay the price of our sins and set us free forever more.

2006-07-24T15:08:00.000+08:00

i heard this song over the radio just the other day and i thought the lyrics were cool, so enjoy:

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

2006-07-19T16:23:00.000+08:00

its been quite some time since i last posted, and in the time between then and now ive written loads more entries in my head but, sadly, they never made it here. anyway, here's what's been happening in my life, if anyone's interested to know...

friday 14th july
met up with delphine today, went shopping at marina square, or should i say, tried shopping at marina square, since we tried on dozens of pieces of clothing but none of them seemed worthy enough to give us any reason to dig into our wallets. we bought shoes from novo though. i love my new shoes! they're so cute. my mum and sis hate it, but who cares? haha.. its comfortable enough, at least the back doesnt cut. it does squeeze my toes quite a bit, though its nothing a few pieces of plaster cant do. going shopping with del is FUN. we're just two mad, crazy people with nothing to do; two mad, crazy people tearing through shops; two mad, crazy people who keep getting staticed by each other. haha..

at 1130pm, my family and i went to watch pirates of the carribbean: dead man's chest. its not exceptionally good. and quite a let down after the first movie. and a disappointment considering i've waitied SO LONG for it to be released. but nonetheless, it was fun to watch, draggy but fun. and it was good to see all my favourite characters on screen, doing their stuff.
note to self: never choose to watch a 2andahalf hour long movie at eleventhirty at night ever again.

saturday 15th july
met up with the mg girls today. about time! we went to cafe cartel to eat. the ribs are good eh simin? lets go there and eat again! the highlight of the day, however, was meeting up with janice. i'm so glad you made it, i almost thought u werent coming already :D my sis still cant figure out the flash back game. haha. see, there's someone worse than me lor. (i took like almost half an hour to figure it out, during which time i know my gpsm was having the time of her life tricking me, making me confused, and laughing her hearts out. at me. hrump. haha...)

the brownie was good eh? we MUST meet up again sometime soon. promise?

today: thing unusual happened today, for me anyway. i went for driving. i hate directional change! even parking is much easier than it. i wonder where my instructor is. he better come back soon... i prefer him so much more to the other instructor i'm getting now. and i miss my car 7. oh, car 6 has got a cute, considerably young instructor. the lucky girl who got car 6! i want also! haha.

a terrible thing happened to one of my good friends today. i really hope she'll be ok soon. and that she remembers to contact me once the storm has passed. i really wish to be there for her, but she explicitly asked to be left alone and i want to respect her wishes. i just dont know how i can lend my support without going against her request. i just hope that everyone who reads this now will remember to include this friend of mine in their prayers. dont ask me for names, cos im not giving any. just help me pray for her k? thanks.

gpsm! you're going to thailand with some friends today.. have a fun time and make use of bangkok to do loads of shopping k? come home safely! i'll be missing you lots till then...

2006-07-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

i went cycling at east coast today! mans. it was good. its been such a looonng time since i last cycled. and an even longer time since i last saw suyi.. and an even looonnger time since i last made simin go cycling. haha... i love the breeze in my face when i cycle.. its like im in an alternate dimension, with no worries whatsoever, kinda like flying; not that i know how its like to fly, but you get my gist.

we saw hon and her bf cycling along ecp too! it was cool, considering that i was wondering to myself whether or not we'd bump into them since her bf loves cycling and all. though i must say that hon looks very tired. and her face looks a little puffy. has everything been alright? i hope its nothing more than being overworked or smth, not lack of sleep thinking about stuff she shouldnt even be entertaining.

i hope suyi likes her belated bday present. i kinda left it in the car and my parents had to go all the way to clementi again to pass it to me when they realised it. plus they had already reached home by then. sighs. i feel so bad about it. heehee.

hey gpsm, cheer up k? i dont really know what else to say except that i'll always lend a listening ear whenever you need it. i hope you can make it on saturday, but if you're tired, dont force yourself k?

my butt really hurts now! but lets go cycling again k suyi and simin? next stop: sentosa??

-sleepy-

2006-07-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

new layout!! nice nice?? still got a bit of touching up to go, but that'll have to wait, i suppose.

pharm camp tmw. sians. i hope it will be fun... after all im not a very camp person. but. ur attitude's what matters. so, im going to think positive. i'm going to have FUN!! haha. i just have to remember this:

yup.

oh, and a really yucky thing happened just now. i accidentally clicked on something whilst trying to open my favourites and suddenly this horrendous porn site opens out at me and now this disgusting eew eew eew photo is stuck in my head cos i accidentally glanced upon it whilst trying to close the damned window. somebody wash the picture out of my brain please. sighs.

hey yun and simin! i miss you both lots too.... lets all meet up soon k? the whole jing gang...! btw yun, when are you leaving for london (that is where you're going, right?)?

cant wait for thursday. i know everything will be alright in the end cos the Lord will provide for me, all the days of my life.

2006-06-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

dance was ok after all. granted, things seemed a little boring without simin there, but, no matter, since its not the first time i went alone anyway. my greater fear was that noone else would go and i'd be stuck with the instructor alone (cos the past week there was only 3 of us). now that would be akward! thank heavens, not only did renfang go, but the whole jing gang of nj girls too. phew! sadly though, today's the last class... i cant believe that 8 weeks just passed me by. it feels much less than that! he's going to be starting a r&b class after this.. it seems alright, we tried a few steps today. any takers?

on my way home however, i had the unplesant opportunity of chancing upon a badly injured cat, sprawled across the road, lying in a pool of glistening liquid, no prizes for guessing what that is though. the horrible thing is that, even though it was on a dim lit street, shrouded in semi-darkness, i saw every detail as clear as day. the colour of the cat: white, with grey patches, the alley kind of cat. the injury: around the head, as the blood came from like, its nose.... it made me sick. i felt like puking and crying at the same time, but ultimately, did none, of course. my dad said he saw someone come and carry the cat off from the rearview mirror when i blurted out " shoud we call the ambulance or something??". i hope he saw correctly. just pray for the cat k? i did.

scamp starts today. have fun all of you!

2006-06-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

its strange the way you'd never truly comprehend the things you learn to love, or the life you've come to know.
its strange the way the things you expect to change remain the same; whereas the things you believe to be true, the things you deem as your rock, are the things that have changed, are the things that have shifted so that you feel as though the ground you are standing upon has given way under you.
its strange the way this theory applies to all aspects of your life.
its strange the way you struggle through 18 years of your life to find that cliches are that way cos theres a truth hidden in them.
its strange the way after 18 years you come to realise and accept that:

change is the only constant thing in life.

and the horrible thing is that i hate change.

2006-05-27T23:41:00.001+08:00

dumpling festival! lots and lots of dumplings! haha.. kk i only had one lah. but it was lots of fun cos i was busy feeding my little cousin (see below), mishka, bananas and water melon. hohoho... muah. she's so cute right?? though i agree her face looks a little distorted here.. oops. heehee... she's a really pretty little girl. yep.

2006-05-19T13:07:00.000+08:00

tada!!! the latest addition to my family!! my newest little bun-bun-bunny!! haha... its a lionhead breed. actually the shopkeeper said its a cross between a lionhead and a jersey woolly or something. its two months old and i love it! *muax*

and here we have my bunny's ears! haha.. cute, no?

2006-05-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

2006-05-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

had driving today. gosh. stalled like 3+++ times... i think my instructor is afraid of seeing me alr... he's alr progressed to the nagging stage cos i KEEP making the SAME mistakes. sighs.

haiyoh... my ex-and-my-sis's-current tuition teacher asked me to help her carry out surveys for the public health board. howww??? i dont want. sighs. i hate doing 1)flagdays 2)surveys 3)customer service. but the last one is not so bad lah. anw, i feel so bad rejecting her so no choice lor... thank heavens my gpsm is there to rescue me... *muax*

yst: i went to ntu for the chem and biochem talk thingy. the food is pretty lousey. except for the soon kueh. the biological science people got nicer food than us from what i heard form suyi... and a better venue too. blehs. the talk is ok. i must say, that prof ___ makes a VERY GOOD sales person. he almost convinced me to sign up w ntu alr.. until i realised he made his 'assistant' click the ppt very fast at some slides cos he didnt want us to focus on it and realise that what he's been trying to sell is a bunch of crap. hahahaha....
after the talk they made us think there were going to be tours to the lab. pfft.. so simin and i hung ard, where i koped more soon kueh, then we left. heh. ran off to jurong point for some retail therapy... i mean, window shopping...

yayyay im the FIRST to vote on ur poll gpsm! hahaha......
and you know what's great? i wanted to do a poll and was wondering how i could go about getting it on my blog and tada! my gpsm to the rescue again... what wld i do without her??? hahaha...

where is my nus letter???? wherewherewhere.....?????? iNEEDyou.

2006-05-09T15:32:00.000+08:00

i managed to cancel my practical at the last minute today..!!! heng ahhh... or else i would have to forefit the money or go for the lesson. but im not ready to go for a night lesson, especially not after last week. i feel i still need ALOT of practise with my clutch and gear-changing first, without having to adjust to night conditions. phew. thank god somebody took the slot. :D

let me recount the events of today.. first, i refused to wake up and promptly went back to sleep after my gran dragged me out of bed and made me brush my teeth. then i was running late for my driving lesson, or so i thought. anyway, i managed to flag the bus quite quickly and was happily on my way when i realised that i forgot to bring my pdl!!! mans. so i got off at the je library stop, walked as fast as possible along the overhead bridge and ran for my bus, which miracously came at just the right time. aboard, i was feverently hoping against hope that i got the time wrong and my lesson was actually at 1355 instead, cos i sometimes book that slot.. i practically ran all the way home, and was sweating like a pig when i finally pressed hard onto the doorbell. did i mention that i had to cross yet another overhead bridge to get home? so i rushed in like a madwoman, grabbed my wallet and was about to fly back out of the room when i decided to take a peek in my organiser to double check the time of my lesson. i nearly laughed out loud when i saw 'practical: 18:00-19:40' printed neatly on today's page.

mans. i could have boxed myself. thank heavens i checked my organiser again. i almost didnt cos i didnt want to waste those few precious seconds... so after that, i decided i should reward myself for the marathon i put myself through by going and getting Aunt Anne's Pretzel. yum! oh, and i told my mum a fib cos i made her think that i went all the way to the driving centre, when in actual fact i was out getting my pretzel. oopsies, bad me.

yays! chui'll be home tomorrow cos mg's fixed tmw as their 'in lieu of a public holiday being on a saturday' "public holiday". wheeeeee! we're gonna be doing LOADS of things tgt. heehee.

and i for one will definitely NOT forget you, gpsm, so u better come back from kl safely or i'll never forgive you!!!

2006-05-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

i'm going out with hon tmw! i cant wait! i havent seen her in ages. gosh. i think i forgot how she looks like already. haha! kidding!

then on friday my gpsm and i are gonna catch eight below. i do truly hope that the cinemas are still screening it... otherwise we'll just have to watch something else. I wanna watch over the hedge! But it's not being shown yet. Darn.

I caught The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest trailer today on CNA. Mans. I cant wait to watch it!! July 13th here I come!! (and to think exactly one year later ootp will be released! I must go and buy 4d liao... haha)

Anw i heard this song today on the radio.. its by Saving Jane. whoopdedoo... here goes:

Small town homecoming queen
She's the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny she's lovley
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside she's ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader
I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk
I'm sleepin on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader
I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk
I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh and I'm just the girl next door

I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader
I'm sittin in the stands
I get A little bit
She gets a little more

Shes Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

There's something terribly wrong with my internet connection! Sobs... noooo.... Stop doing this to me.. PLEASE............

2006-05-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

i nearly got into an accident today! mans. it was damn scary lor. i was having my practical lesson and feeling very blur again.. got honked at once by a car turning right went i was entering the slip road. anw, i could feel my instructor getting irritated with me cos i was still making the same mistakes. truthfully, i was getting pissed with myself too. its like what the hell is wrong with me???!! anyway, he was going on about speed control and how i should go fast when the conditions allow so that i know how to brake and control the car when the occasion calls for it. so i was at a traffic light junction and it was the green light so i was thinking "go go go!" and my instructor was like "yes, that's correct. speed up then change gear up..." then suddenly out of nowhere this right turning car swerved into my path then everything happened so quickly.. my instructor was grabbing onto the steering wheel and honking like mad, i was like screaming in my head "brake brake! Where's my brake?? oh man!! clutch in clutch in or the engine will stall..."

all in all, it was a very close brush but the cars didnt come into contact ie didnt crash and noone was injured. did i mention that the stupid black car that didnt give way was so scared of banging into us that he swung his car so completely to the right and nearly banged into the traffic light himself. so dumb! if he was so scared, he shouldnt have tried cutting me in the first place right??

my instructor said he was probably trying to take advantage of me cos i was driving an L-plate and was bound to go slow. but we're not in the wrong and if he really did hit us he would have to bear all the costs. so ha!

still it was rather scary. to think i could be in hospital now or something. i really thank the lord that im still alive. phew.

i really need to get the hang of this driving thing....

2006-04-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

what a marvelous day today was!
i was awoken by my mum at 11am today... a tad too early if you ask me. now dont go around thinking that im a lazy pig... you'd find 11am too early too if u went to sleep at around 640. AM. haha!

jan and i suceeded in our movie marathon. we managed to get through 4 movies and stayed up the whole night like we planned to... except for the time she dozed off during the pink panther and the time i dozed off during drive me crazy. hey, we're only human.

after that on sunday morning we headed to town for some retail therapy! but not after being stuffed with roti prata, ondeh ondeh and strawberries courtesy of my mum... haha.. its amazing, our bodies.. how it can withstand hours of shopping with so little sleep...

note to jan: sorry you had to sleep in the living room... i hope it wasnt too hot or anything... did u ache in the moring? i hope not....

anw, i had loads of fun :D we should do this again sometime! cos ive always wanted to have a sleepover cum movie marathon with my friends since young, just like all the kids did in the books i used to read from waaayy back... haha... though i promise to clear my room and provide better accomodations next time! hawhaw...

oh yah. i highly recommend the pink panther! Its really really hilarious.. i'll never react to a hamburger in the same way again.... the prince and me was nice too.. kinda cliche but really romantic... esp when they were in the library... so sweet.. sighs. a lot like love is really good too! its weird to see ashton kutcher in such a serious, sensitive, romantic role... jan's dream guy! she was practically drooling over him... better let ahem watch the movie so he knows what to do... *winks*

2006-04-26T11:46:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh.. i have my manaul dexterity test in less than 3 hours!! somebody save me! im so nervous about it.... i dont even know why.. goodness. i mean, i do hope i can get into dentistry but there are like what at least over 200 people fighting for 30 seats. its seriously crazy man. plus, i have no gift of the gap. how am i going to charm my interviewers? gosh. i dont even know why i put dentistry in the first place!

yesterday i accompanied janice for her interview at nus. mans. did they ask weird questions or what... i mean, what does the bridge have to do with science? it so reminds me of gp. which i am so bad at. what if they ask me on current affairs? *experiencing shortness of breath* quick! somebody tell me some current affairs i can discuss about!! anw, im digressing.. yeah, so gpsm, dont think so much about it k? just leave it all in God's hands. im sure there will be good news coming soon....

help! its coming!
i have to carve chalk??!!!!
i hope i dont do something really stupid and get kicked out on the spot by the invigilators.
i'll just leave everything in HIS hands.

2006-04-07T15:31:00.000+08:00

Your true color is Brown!

What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

2006-03-29T00:05:00.000+08:00

going out tmw w hon and the class! fun! then going to a bar for the first time!! mans. i hope it will be a good experience to remember! please dont let anything bad happen..
i succeeded in connecting my handphone to the computer (thanks to my sis) and downloading the correct software from the nokia webbie!! so now i can transfer files to and from the phone! and make my own wallpapers! and use my own midi files for ringtones! *beams*

2006-03-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

its wondrous how the Lord provides for us.. today as i was on my way to send my supporting documents to nus, i noticed that the sky was quite grey and i said a silent prayer to God to please hold the rains for me.. and as i made my way there and back, i came upon many realisations and one in particular was the realisation that as much as i may worry, ultimately, what comes will come and what's most important is how we're going to deal with what comes. and that the Lord will always provide for us. then as i climbed up the stairs and pressed the door bell, the heavens opened and it started to rain.

thank you Lord, for everything...

2006-03-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

can somebody please explain The Hours to me? i kinda got lost in it.. i think i did manage to grasp some stuff, but its probably like one-tenth of the total content. sighs. yes, it was emotionally potent and all.. but i was like HUH??! at the end of the movie... im going to the airport early tmw morning... and by early i mean somewhere between 5 and 6 am. sighs. time for bed!

2006-03-24T15:02:00.000+08:00

aww mans.. its been soooo long since i last blogged! im forgetting how to go about it alr! haha... but alrighty, since you requested, mel, i'll comply and put up a post! yesyes, go on, feel honoured! haha...
i had my second practical driving lesson yesterday... and i think im getting the hang of it! haha.. besides the time when the instructor asked me to change to gear 3 for the first time and i kinda freaked out and the car kinda started weaving about, everything else went quite smoothly! though i suspect i may be a little cock-eyed.. cos i keep coming too close to the marking on the right and the instructor has to keep yanking the steering wheel back towards himself... i'm going on the road in my next lesson! i hope i dont kill anyone, myself included...
after that i was supposed to meet simin in orchard to buy presents for my dahlings; hon and suyi. but i was supposed to meet her at 550pm and driving ended at 2pm!! dotz... so being the bookworm that i am, i stalked out at the jurong regional library. and i landed my hands on a book about dentistry! too bad its a reference book so i cant borrow it out... anw im not as studious as i make myself out to be.. i nearly made it past page 9 when i started to doze off.. i was only revived when i decided to take a break and indulge in Are We An "Us"? a #4 in the Zits Collection of Comics. hahaha.. so much for trying to act smart..
then i took a 198 back to school to collect my testimonial.. a HUGE thanks to Mr Wong for taking time to do it up.
after which i headed to orchard but i was still too early. so i went to Popular and hung around the best new sellers section. if i were the sercurity guard watching the closeups on the cctv i would have been highly suspicious of myself... a girl loitering around for close to half and hour, picking up book after book and reading the back of these books then putting them down again, with no intention to buy whatsoever. anw i didnt get chased away so who cares! im telling you, the next time i go into a bookstore i will be fully prepared and armed with a pen and a notebook.. what for, you ask? to copy down the titles of the books i want to read.. i mean. there's just too many of them!! i've not enough money or space to bring them all home, as much as i want to. besides, some of these so called adult books write explicitly about sex and i dont really want to go that far. back to the point, the book that made the most impression on me was Wish Upon A Star by Tina Reilly, so im currently trying to get my hands on one.
to round off this post, let me announce to the world that i spent a whopping 143 bucks yst; not including the $7.5o i spent on dinner. boy am i broke... i cant elaborate much, since the $103 involves the stuff im gonna give to my dahlings.. but i have to share my joy about the item i bought at esprit... hoho.. when i went to esprit on 2nd march a sweater caught my eye.. but at 89.90, it was too bloody expensive. luckily for me, it was on a 30% discount; and the pink one i liked came in my size. so i decided to just go with it. then when i was about to pay, i noticed that there was a defect in it.. a small one, but a defect nonetheless.. and it was the only piece left; even the other outlets didnt have it anymore... sobs! as i really liked it, i decided to just push my luck and asked the cashier if i could get it at a cheaper price (something i learnt from my customer service jobs)... she was like "ok... i'll help you check." then she was like pressing and pressing the buttons on the system... "ok, how about this, i can give you another 20% off, on top of the 30%." i was like WHAT!!!!! hahaha.... i thought she was gonna give me like another $2 off, not 20%! so i was like "hmm.. ok lor." haha! what a steal! besides, the defect is really kind small, as in the not visible sort of small.. at most i'll just buy an iron-on motif to hide it.. and now that its already damaged i wont be afraid to use it anymore.. i got my sweater at half price!!! muax. i love my life! haha..

mans i realise i have no idea what the technical terms are for each part of a book.. i mean i know there's a book jacket.. but there should be more than that right?? gosh. call myself a self-professed bookworm..

p.s. simin said ur new urban male bag was really nice hon! big, but nice.

2006-03-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

i hate the stupid nus website. stupid bloody website. it sucks. bigtime.

i cant get any freaking information from it. all the info they offer is so skin deep. after reading through whatever i can find, i still dont know what the course is about and im still as confused as ever. its like im stuck at square one. the websites just direct u to another webbie, promising u more useful info but when you get there you just get directed to yet another webbie; its just a vicious cycle. like you're being led on a wild goose chase.

i feel really stupid.

people already know what they want to do. YET. im still stuck at the crossroads. no goals. useless.

Lord please help me.

2006-03-08T14:22:00.000+08:00

i got a day off today!!!!! haha.. the CC's moving to a new building tmw and the office people gave themselves a day off today; so with noone going to unlock the doors for us, we dont have to report to work either! hah!

here's what i spent/am going to spend my day doing:
1) i finally finished watching saturday's epi of genius physician-ti ying
2) i tried out applying mascara. haha! it makes my eyes feel very heavy. either that or i am really lacking sleep..
3) i watched disc one of Earthsea. mans. it makes me want more......
4) i nearly had a heart attack when i discovered that firefly schloarship applications close this week. i said i nearly had a heart attack cos i realised i misread. there's one week to go. which means i have until next weds. so i can decide after the openhouse on sat. phew.
5) check the nus webbie for more info on which course i should really take. my mind is an empty slate when it comes to my future. so i have to be careful what info goes in.

2006-03-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

goblet of fire dvd is out!!!!!!!

yay yay yay!!!!! IT'S FINALLY OUT! *jumps around shrieking with joy*

the stupid website is so inaccurate! haha.. made me think that its only gonna be released on the 17th of march. otherwise someone here in singapore is really efficient... :D

the heavens must really love me...

2006-03-01T12:15:00.000+08:00

today's the day today's the day today's the day

one hour fortyfive minutes and counting...

2006-02-20T00:16:00.000+08:00

this calls for a celebration!! to welcome the arrival of my baby cousin on this very day! and the first male grandson for my grandma since 17 years ago... but baby maven is kinda premature i think. he was due in march.. mans. i pray that he will be ok. i know he will. praise the lord for this new life!

tmw's the first day of work for me! *shudders* wish me all the best! hope i dont meet any irritating pple, and that i dont offend anybody...

help!! got another blister.. a kinda abrasion on my left heel.. the skin is flapping off.. ouch!

2006-02-18T11:36:00.000+08:00

freaking hell. mum is angry with me. i hate myself. i hate my temper. i hate her; and yet i can't really make myself believe that, because i owe her so much. i really hate myself. yesterday i made my sister angry too. in fact she was so pissed she started crying. what the hell is wrong with me?? i just wish i could fade into oblivion.

today's funorama. i wonder how it will go. i hope ac will reach their target. in fact, i'm positively sure they will, as always. i hope my temper wont get the better of me later, and that my bad mood doesnt rub off anybody. maybe i just shouldnt go. now that's the best idea i've had all day.

2006-02-17T23:13:00.000+08:00

jan you horrible girl! you didnt tell me you were going for the v'day get together! oh mans. now i feel so horrible. i mean, how often is it that the mg gals actually meet up?? and i've never gone to a gathering with you together before. sobs. my heart is torn apart.... ah wells. next year then.

to my gpsm: when will you be free?? i miss meeting up with you already.
sighs. hope im not being too sticky or anything. bahs.

2006-02-16T15:15:00.000+08:00

tada!! my flowers! pretty huh? i finally got around to uploading the photos today. oh no. the nice velvety flower didnt make it into the photo.. i wonder if its too late to go and get a snapshot of it now. its a really cute flower, small and inconspicuous. i didnt even notice it at first. on a closer look, however, i fell in love with it! its even nicer than the rose. its such a deep red. and its velvety! and i've never seen such a flower before. oh the novelty of it all. haha..

2006-02-15T21:19:00.000+08:00

i feel utterly sick. i cant believe what i had for dinner. and i cant believe i let myself eat everything! its just lots of oil, and fats... did i mention oil?? gag.

i dont know why i even let myself watch tv. all the dramas that im currently 'chasing' end sadly. lovers who belong together get separated; people die; its just terribly tragic. sometimes i wonder if im sadistic. why put myself through all those happy moments when i already know how horribly its going to end??? i'm just asking for it.

that moment in time was nice. i felt special for the first time in a very long time. it was just so genuine; no ulterior motive. like i was being appreciated for who i am. yes, it was nice. even if it was only for a split-second.

Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It's hard to say

It's time to say it

Goodbye, Goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

Look at this photograph

Every time I do it makes me laugh

Every time I do it makes me...

nickelback:photograph

2006-02-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

happy valentine's day everyone! *muacks*

yay my first valentine's day dinner! haha.. and my first boquet of flowers! they're really pretty!!okok dont go getting the wrong idea now! poor ben and gary must have burnt a hole through their wallets to get them for suyi and me. thanks guys! the four of us had dinner at marche. mmm-yummy! we ate a whole load of stuff. there was calamari, steak, grilled pork chops, two fat sausages, mashed potatoes, rosti, crepe, ice-cream... sinful! but the highlight of the day definitely has to be the boston baked lobster. ok, so it was only half a lobster. but it was really good. served with pasta, it only cost $19.90. what a steal! haha... oh and the icecream is heavenly. especially the mango&passion fruit one.

we talked crap alot too. suyi was off her rockers. i think ben and gary will never have the same impression of her again. haha. but that girl rocks my world! so they just gotta live with it.

after that we walked around heeren, helping ben look out for his wallet and ear studs. doing quote-unquote research. haha.. dont worry ben, im sure the perfect wallet and studs are waiting for you to find them.. just keep looking! then we met up with keith and kong jien. its been a long time since. the guys were game for staying out late, so suyi and i left them after a while. also, my heels were killing me! i so gotta get used to wearing them mans. they make me feel tall.

thinking back, my present seems so... blah. sighs. it didnt even turn out nice. pales in comparison to the normal ones i baked, cos i ran out of chocolate chips. and it definitely pales in comparison to the flowers. sobs.

i dont care! i want my sprinkleys!

2006-02-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

OH NO!!! i totally cant remember my A'level chem anymore! sobs. what's the point in living???

2006-02-12T23:03:00.000+08:00

i cant believe this. i have to help my sister type a 2page essay about 3 local theatres for drama. ugh. my brain feels so rusty; its like i'm having gp all over again and i have to come up with something by hook or by crook.

yups okies its two hours later already.. and this is what i've found out: The Guinness Theatre is a flexible black box performance space. Made up of a 10 tier retractable seating system, it has a total seating capacity of a 108 seats. Opened in the early 1970's, the Kallang Theatre was originally touted as the largest commercial cinema in Singapore. It was converted into a theatre for the performing arts in 1986. wow aint that exciting? haha... i've typed 1 and a half pages already.. *applause* i'm calling it a day.

i'm going on an expedition tmw! okok i exaggerate.. i'm going to take 97 in the morning and see how long it needs to get to the CPF building.. its 24 stops!! but i dont really want to take the train in the morning, with it being peak hour and all, unless i really have to. bahs. plus, its a loop service. so to get back home i have to board the bus at the very same bus stop and let it take me all the way to the marina area before going back home. ah wells. i hope i remember to jot down the time it takes or all my efforts will go to waste. *laughs*

its weird how the human brain can come up with such stupid links sometimes. i think i'm just mad. as if i'm that good. dumbo.

aww mans. i dont feel like going lah.. my sister is making me feel so guilty.. but i really dont mind catching a movie.. though i have no particular one in mind at this point in time. haiyah. i will decide tmw then.

wish me luck on my expedition! harhar..

11th feb

2006-02-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

yay's today's a saturday! so all those busy people have no excuse to not go out with me today! haha.. no lah. i managed to lure simin and delphine out of their houses to town. but before that i made simin accompany me to bbdc to get my pdl. oh boy. their system sucks. you'd think that they were still stuck in the 1990s, the way they handle paperwork. it took more than an hour to get the thing done. and the woman behind the counter still uses the ulu way of calling out names. hello?? there's a thing called the microphone! or use the number system that's adpoted in most hospitals etc. mans. how does she expect me to hear her wispy voice when there's like a million people standing in between??

so after that we headed to town. did some shopping. ok. i did a little shopping. cant say the same for simin and delphine though. haha.. simin was torn between two blouses while del got herself a half-jacket thingy (no idea what the technical term is) and a sweet-looking skirt. which is not petticoat coloured. later we dropped by paragon for a tad bit to meet ben and gary. the poor dears seem close to tears with boredom. haha. ok i exaggerate. ben was stuck at the lancome counter. but admit its not so bad lah ben! at least the place smells like me! haha...

whopee.. i got myself a 'double date'!!! heehee... this is going to be fun...

8th feb:suyi came over today...

2006-02-08T16:27:00.000+08:00

fact of the day: the chorda tympani nerve helps you to taste

i slpt half the day away today. simply didnt feel like doing anything. so after i woke up for my regular fix of morning tv, i went back to bed, read, and fell asleep again. lazy lazy pig...

there was no lunch. didnt feel like eating. finally at ard 5pm, i gave in to the grumblings from my stomach. after rummaging through the cupboards, i found a box of pizza flavoured arnotts biscuits which were expiring today. is this my lucky day or what.

is it that hard to get decent blue nail polish around here? all the shades of blue that are avalible are either turquoise or electric blue. bahs. i look like a water demon with those nails.

su yi came over today... for about half an hour. haha... just to bide her time away. but her having her company was nice. we surfed the net and i typed her an email right under her nose. 'course i made her promise not to read it. and she'd better not have or there'll be nothing new to read tomorrow in the office!

2006-02-07T21:45:00.000+08:00

today's janice's first day at work!! jia you girl! :D

1845: Basic Theory Test. *shudders*
i thought i was late! though technically there was still 5 minutes to go, they had everyone seated already. and the guy in front was going through some kinda demostration. oh no oh no.. please dont let me be late.. i hand another man my ic, feeling my fingers start to get cold. "computer 40" this voice suddenly blares into my thoughts. huh?? steadying myself i make my way towards the computer nearest to me. luckily the red tag on the left corner of the table catches my eye. 46..45..44.. i count as i walk down the aisle. finally. 40. "please wait a few more minutes before the test commences" the guy in front announces. i notice someone entering the room, flustered. at least there's someone later than me... suddenly the computer screen changes. "please enter your password and start the test." password??? i glance tentatively at the slip of paper handed to me when i first entered. fingers fumbling, i type in the four numbers, and the test begins. pulling my sweater higher up my arms, i shiver slightly whilst tapping on the touch screen. keep your eyes to yourself. keep your eyes to yourself. the computer stations are too close to one another. i wonder if anyone has cheated before. tap. next question. tap. next question. this went on for a while. uh oh. brain freeze. i close my eyes briefly. i dont want to fail! please dont let me fail! ok ok. i can do this. tap. next question. tap... and then; screen comand: you have reached the end of this test. click ok to submit. i contemplate going back and checking through all my answers. ah hell. as if i'm that conscientious. i click ok, feverently hoping; praying...

hehs. i passed lah. yays! now i can apply for my pdl. too bad when i took the test it was after office hours so i have to go back another day. i bet people who have took their btts before will be scoffing at my entry. the way i made it sound. honestly. you'd think that after all those major exams we took in the month of november i would know better than to stress out for a silly computerised test. guess i just dont work well under pressure huh.

anyway, as i was leaving, guess who i saw! titus. haha. which is nothing much since everytime i go to bbdc i see at least one acjc person. the only funny thing is that when titus saw me he did a double take. i was walking towards the glass doors while he was walking past outside. and he looked in, looked straight then looked back in again. like he recognised me or something. haha. what an honour it is, given his reputation. i, being myself just stared straight ahead unfliching.

i better go ask around and see who's willing to accompany me to apply for my pdl..

i think emily's a nice name. isnt it? so demure and ladylike...

2006-02-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

its a happy happy day! i went to sentosa! its weird how life is sometimes. the last time i went there with simin and deph we agreed that we must go back soon. and when was that?? march 2005! whereas this time, i didnt even plan to go there; it was just a last minute thing. haha.. anw su yi and i went cycling. and i'm proud to proclaim that we cycled around the whole of sentosa!! now my bum hurts like mad. we spent 1.5 hours on the lousey bike seat which is so bloody hard!

then we decided to stroll along the beach; let the cold seawater tickle our toes a bit, when i did the world most's stupidest thing ever!! i tossed my sandals onto the beach so that i could rub the grease stain off my calf. one moment later, my sandals were floating right before my eyes and being swept towards the open sea. in all madness, i grabbed at the space before me wildly and managed a firm grip on one sandal. the other one was happily bobbing up and down, drifting further and further away... i thought my heart was going to stop!!! those werent ordinary sandals. they were teva sandals. bloody expensive teva sandals. after staring at it helplessly for a minute or so, contemplating if i should just dive in after in and risk getting pulled away by undercurrents considering i'm such a "professional" swimmer and all, i was ready to throw in the towel and just leave it there, as momento to my visit to sentosa on this very day. but i'd just kill myself for blowing somemore moolah on two pairs on sandals. one lost and one new. so i scoured the beach for any likeness of a swimmer and hit jackpot at the other end of the beach. thank heavens for me, su yi managed to help me beg them and they were willing to help. i actually feel quite bad for having to drag them all the way over to where my sandal was. believe me the strech of beach is pretty long. i nearly jumped for joy when they fished my sandal out. thank the Lord for that!

on to the next point of our adventure. (guess what i did next jan!! we were just talking about it yst!) we went for the luge ride! though it wasnt as impressive as the one in NZ, its still good fun. and the chairlift was really nice, what with the scenery and gentle breeze and all. scary but nice. su yi went down so fast lah! i couldnt catch even a glimspe of her after a while.. all in all the $8 was quite well spent lah. since i was reminded of my time in NZ and all. memories like those are precious.. let's go there sometime soon jan! like after we start work and save up.. ooh i'm looking so forward to it!

and the monkeys we saw today! i'll never forget them. they're soooo cute!! mikki and sakura (if i didnt remember wrongly) haha. their butts are so red... and i'll never forgive sakae sushi for tricking us! those cunning people.. masquerading their food items on similar plates, only to turn the tables on us and proclaim that "oh, the red ones are $6.20 each". bahs. cheated us of about $10 all together. hrump. thankfully for them the food was not that bad lah. then again, just about anything tastes good when you're starving.

my arms hurt like mad now. though i dont feel sunburnt, my mum insists i am. "you look like your face got pressed by an iron." yeah, i suppose it does look rather bad.. at least my legs dont hurt as bad as suyi's who almost fell out of the bus. poor gal. and dont even get me started on how painful my bum is. all that cycling....

thanks for today gal! though it was quite naughty of you to pon work. hehheh. really enjoyed myself. and i think you're right. we always do stuff that's kinda romantic. our future boyfriends should be jealous. hahaha...

2006-02-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

woke up real bright and early today.. *yawns* haha.. ok lah, i woke up at 8 plus, but that is bright and early for someone who usually wakes up at 10. anw as the saying goes, the early bird gets the worm. so i accompanied janice to recruit express today in hopes of her getting a job. (so all the best jan!)

anyway, we successfully navigated nee-ann city to locate tower A. Bravo! haha.. after her interview with the person, who was trying to advertise herself for more hc pple (bleh), we went shopping!! haha.. my favourite activity. cos we were done so early, most shops weren't open yet so we decided to eat! sadly, the korean cusine outlet at the food court in taka chose today to do their spring cleaning (hrump!) and i didnt get to eat the highly recomended jiam-pong (dunno how to spell. heehee.) in the end we settled for tom yam ban mien and hot & sour thick noodles w fish. what a cheaterbug that shop was! thick noodles=chu mi fen and hot&sour soup=instant tom yam soup. whatever lah. plus it cos $4. haiyoh. daylight robbery.

after that janice and i spent the rest of the day walking up and down orchard road, esp along the stretch of far east, tangs, paragon, heeren. and taka. it was great fun though. cos we talked alot. mostly crap, but good crap. haha.. we had good laughs. about matchmaking, and her cousins, pigheads & pigskin shoes among others. we also ate fried mars bars! get a load of that! its really not that bad.. it just doesnt live up to the descriptions of the food critic whose article got published in life!. it's really rich, so that makes it quite unhealthy but one should give it a try sometime in their life. just tastes like a more gooey version of famous amos cookies.

and we bought shoes!! what's a girl to do without them? haha.. i actually couldn't decide between my bao zha shoes from bloomz or the shoes w the golden trimmings from x:odus. my indecision caused us to walk from cine to heeren and back, quite a few times i might add. not to mention, we entered x:odus like three times. i bet the woman thought we were trying to steal something; us dubious characters, hanging about since before the shop officially opened for business and returning multiple times during the day. but in the end i bought my shoes from her so she can't complain about anything then. hah! and what a steal! the shoes were HALF-PRICE!! so janice got her work shoes from there too. high five!

the trains i was on today were friggin mad! the train doors kept opening and closing when they stopped at the station. both on the way there and on the way back. mans. am i glad that i made it back safely or what. thank the lord for that.

oh i forgot to add, i'm jan's sugamama!! harhar... i'll be good to you girl *winks*

i'll never forget my bao zha shoes though. they make me laugh. and they're such great conversation starters, aren't they, jan? to shoes: don't worry i wont forget you. i promise to come and get you once i get my first pay. wait for meee.... (pyscho on the loose, pyscho on the loose!!!)

remember never to:

2006-02-01T21:15:00.000+08:00

remember never to wring cotton pants when you wash them.
remember that you hate ironing pants so dont forget never to wring them.
remember not to procrastinate next time and go jogging when you realise you can.

i'm going out with janice tmr! yayyayyay!! i hope i dont stone or bore her to death. *i will be fine. i will be fine.*

2nd post of the day. i'm going mad.. i'm going mad!!!

on a lazy day as such...

2006-02-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

i looked out of my window, up into the sky; what a lovely shade of blue it is! it's a really intense shade of sky blue and the clouds seem extremely white against it. how i wish i could have taken a picture of it! but the camera's locked up in the dry box and i have no access to the keys. darn!

for today's lunch i reheated some leftover food from the dinner we had with my paternal granma. so i ended up eating stewed mushrooms and ginseng chicken soup. a weird combi right? haha.. i mean, i love both dishes, but i really never expected them to become a meal on their own for me. anw, i had actually no idea the mushrooms were for me! such is the love of a mother. though there were only three mushrooms left ( and lotsa pacific clams! yum!) she bothered to keep them for me and even made sure that my granma and maid didnt lay their hands on it. sighs..

i tried packing the drawers in my room today and it's next to impossible! there's just so much junk in there. junk from my childhood. and that's what makes it so hard to clear out! i cant bring myself to throw anything away! i should just blindfold myself and tip the entire contents of the drawer into the dustbin! here's what i discovered about myself today: i used to love sailormoon! and i was an avid collector of stickers and stamps. not to mention, i suspect i was the type of girl girls like to hate when i was young! because i chanced upon my kindergarten photos and non of the girls looked familiar to me! i remember my two best friends from school were boys. ah wells. what happened to me through the years?? now i'm just anti-social. and really awkward around guys. haiz.

i've learnt a couple of new words today! *applause* they include: spangled, crinoline, tremulously, furtive(word of the day!), contemptuous, sinew, airily, and woolly. haha! i am smarter today than i was yesterday! and did you know that to "pop your clogs" means "to die"? from what i found out, its supposed to be a sort of old british slang. back in those days the working class used to wear clogs to work. i presume clogs must have a great significance to them then, kinda like their means to a livelihood. and "pop" could very well have meant "to pawn". so when one was ready to pawn their clogs they must have been close to death. there are other versions to it really. but i think this one's quite interesting.

my yee bor (granma's sister) called from canada today. i sorta freaked out! cos i'm really bad with people. i'm convinced that i bore them to death. anyway, since there was noone-else but me who could answer the phone, i had to pick it up. and it was bad. we hung up after three minutes or so. i think she's resolved to call a little later next time, like when my mum's home from work or something. still it was kinda nice to have received a phone call from a relative who's living so far away.. i'm such a contradictory person.

ok. it's time for me to dissolve away into my comfort zone and do a little something for myself. yay!

*must remember to buy a cd of CNY songs for yeebor.
*must remember to read the bible later today. and to stop putting it off!!

31st Jan

2006-01-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

yays i feel so proud of myself! haha.. i suceeded in helping my sister do up her blog layout. ok fine. so maybe its only 3/4s done. BUT. i managed to do some pretty complicated things that surprised even myself! granted, i kinda copied and pasted several javascripts and put them all together (i will acknowledge all that i 'plagiarised' from). still i was able to figure out some of the codes and now i feel more empowered! haha.

something out of this world happened to simin yst. really amazing. in fact if i didnt hear it from her myself i wouldnt have believed it. which makes me wonder just how strong my faith is; if it'll ever be as strong as hers..

shopping for work clothes is sooo much harder than i ever thought it would be. of course besides the fact that since i'm so frigging fat it makes it ten times harder to find something suitable. like that's possible. even if it were, the piece of clothing's so expensive i'd rather not buy it. i mean. how many times will i actually wear it anyway?? i ended up buying loads of unnecessary stuff. thinking back, i dont even know why i bought them!! and somehow my mum and sis didnt seem to need anything so they just stood around watching me. talk about unwanted pressure. my mum kept throwing lao auntie clothes at me whilst my sister tried to offer her two cents worth on practically everything i said i thought i might try. so now i'm either going to look like a lao auntie or a high flying executive. so much for not wanting to go into the extremes...

anyway thank the Lord for his protection today! a centimeter forward on my part or on my sister's part and i'd have landed up blind in one eye. thank heavens for the way things turn out. i escaped with a small graze right under my left eye, somewhere in the region of my eyebag. i really must tell chui not to fling her arms around wildly whilst still holding onto a mechanical pencil.

happy new year!

2006-01-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year!!! haha... actually i think i'm a bit late.. cos its already the second day! but better late than never! besides, i've always liked the second day better than the first. today was quite tiring.. we went to 6 houses in all. still it was more exciting to run around singapore than to stay put at one or two houses (like we did last year). i just wish that us cousins had more rapport.. we're like chao stoned and we dont mingle or converse. we just stick with our own siblings. sighs. quite sad right? i dont know anything about them! and they're supposed to be immediate family.

anyway, my baby cousin is sooo cute! she's so noisy! she's at the stage of warbling baby talk. you should hear her go! haha.. and she likes to grab things off the table. so its like having a workout when she's around. you can never sit still. perhaps i will get around to posting her picture someday..

i want to get my driving license! NOW!!! but i hate the system we have. its just impossible to get everything done and pass all the tests.. haiz.

i'm going shopping tomorrow! yipee! haha...

i need to lose weight!!
thanks for leaving me out again.

new blogskin!

2006-01-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

oh mans.. i am just so in love with this new template that i found.. sighs.. haha. but getting everything done up properly is so hard to do! there's just so much to fill in! and i have yet to transfer my tagboard over.. and add in more quotes! and.. photos.. and.. i cant even think straight any more! haha.. but i'll miss my diaryland layout alot too.. ah wells. you HAVE to make way for progress..

2005-12-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

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